True Blood Workout

In case there was anyone left out there who thought I was cool…here’s a True Blood workout. I know, I know, I need to get a life. But it’s Just. So. Good.

The new season of True Blood premiers this Sunday on HBO and, if you couldn’t infer by the post on my son/plant Lafayette, I’m beyond excited. I love this show. In preparation for an entire summer of watching the insanely attractive supernatural bodies on True Blood (I’m looking at you, Eric Northman), I’ve created this workout. And the best part about it is that you can do it right in your living room, no shoes or equipment required. Heck, you don’t even need to wear pants!

It’s like a drinking game, only healthy.  And, ok, less fun. As you watch each episode keep an eye out for the following things to occur. When they do, complete the accompanying exercise and the designated number of reps. Depending on the story line of each episode, this workout could be pathetically easy or extremely torturous.

Someone drinks blood (doing V counts)…20 Hindu Squats

A Hindu Squat can best be described as a fluid, deep squat in which you roll onto the balls of your feet as you come up. This is one squat variation where it’s okay for your knees to stick out farther than your toes, and they will when you’re at the deepest point of the squat. Keep feet shoulder-width apart and move your arms in a circular motion so that your fingertips brush the ground when you’re at your lowest. If this makes no sense, here’s a super awkward video I found of a shirtless man wearing jeans and a belt in a field demonstrating Hindu Squat form (you’re welcome?). Side note: I’m no doctor, but if you have bad knees, I would probably avoid this move.

Lafayette says “bitch” or “hooker”…20 Snowboarders

Legs wide apart, squat down with one hand touching the ground. Jump up, turn 180 degrees in the air and land in the same deep squat on the other side, with the opposite hand touching the ground. If you turned towards your right shoulder the first time, make sure to turn towards your left shoulder on the way back.

Someone has a weird dream…50 Mountain Climbers

In plank position, bring one knee forward and then switch quickly, in a horizontal running motion.

Jason says something stupid…20 Spiderman Lunges

Sooo basically every time Jason opens his mouth, you’ll be breaking a sweat. So good looking. So dumb. To do a Spiderman Lunge, start in a plank position and bring one leg up towards your arm in a deep, Spidy-esque lunge. Repeat on the other side.

A shift occurs (into any creature—werewolf, werepanther, dog, etc.)…10 Leg Lifts with a Reverse Crunch at the Top

Laying on your back with hands under your butt for support, lift your legs up to a 90-degree angle with your body (keeping them straight). At the top, push your butt upwards, pointing your legs towards the ceiling. Lower legs back down, keeping them straight. Don’t let them ever rest on the ground.

A vampire’s fangs pop out…10 pushups

I do ‘em from my knees.

Someone drinks an alcoholic beverage…10 burpees

Squat down, placing hands flat on the ground in front of you. Jump back into a plank position, jump back up to squatting, then stand up and jump with your arms in the air.

Bill says something in that overly formal, old-fashioned way of his…20 Split Squats

Squat down with one foot positioned just behind the other. Front foot should be flat on the ground; and on the ball of your back foot. Here’s a video (super awkward) that best demonstrates the position. Unlike in the video, you will then jump up, and land back in the squat position with the opposite leg in front. This move is killer for the buns and thighs.

Someone dies…5 Ninja Jump Tucks

Start in a kneeling position. Jump your legs forward so that you land in a deep squatting position (it takes some practice). From there, do a jump tuck, in which you bring your knees up to slap your hands mid-air (not pictured). If you’re still like ninja what??, check out the tutorial here).

There’s a makeout/kiss…10 Full-Body Crunches. 20 if that kiss turns into nudity and bowm-chicka-wom-wommmm

Sitting on the ground, lean back with hands lightly by your side for support. Legs should be lifted and outstretched. Crunch inward, bringing your knees in to meet your torso. Extend back out.

If I haven’t explained how to do any of the moves thoroughly, don’t hesitate to ask me in the comments section—I’ll respond immediately with a better description (or try to). Pinkie promise. And if you are thinking to yourself “This is the dumbest workout ever, I don’t even watch True Blood,” then fear not: I have a kick-ass workout coming your way next week that doesn’t involve any vampires, werewolves or fairies.

If doing a workout on a Sunday night sounds like some sick, perverted version of Hell, then DVR the episode and do it on whatever day, at whatever time your little heart desires.

Enjoy the workout; but more importantly, enjoy the season premier of True Blood!

Comments

  1. hehe, great idea for a workout! ingenious!

  2. I genuinely think that after the first episode, my tummy’s gonna come-off. Too much Full-Body Crunches.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Incredibly creative!! Looking for more.

  4. HAHAHA! This is awesome! and a great way for me to stay fit while I am watching one of my favorite shows. Great post!

  5. This is an awesome idea! I don’t watch True Blood, but you’ve given me an idea to try with some reality shows I watch. Every time a Basketball Wife/Real Housewife/Mob Wife throws a drink on somebody, I will do crunches! I will have a six pack in NO TIME!

  6. LOL this is the BEST idea ever! Love your blog btw…. if you get a chance please drop by mine, I’m literally just getting started. http://healthandhomeheili.wordpress.com/

  7. Great idea for an awesome work out (and a way to burn off the excess energy this show creates ;) ). Can’t wait to try this and I suspect it will get to be very intense as the season gets going.

  8. Reblogged this on Rapunzel's Adventures and commented:
    This is a great way to use up all that pent up energy from watching Eric and Alcide! I could really get into at-home work outs if they were all like this!

  9. Kelly @ My love affair with running says:

    Sounds hilarious! What a fun idea :)

  10. That’s very creative, good job making fitness fun!

  11. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Please check out my blog for details – http://81dayswontlastforever.wordpress.com
    Congratulations
    Alicia and Molly

  12. Awesome Idea! I’m down for this! And I mean…looking at it, if its like past seasons, the exercises will be non-stop!

  13. This is a great idea, but I think I would miss the deliciousness of the show due to those work outs because those things happen a lot! Haha or is that the whole idea? Hmm :p

    • Haha I was worried about the same thing so I waited until this morning to watch the episode for a second time and do the workout. It ended up being brutal…in a good way :)

  14. You seem to be really tall! What’s your height? I ask because I’m 5,9ft and I’d like how you look so fit and healthy. Great workouts and inspiration!

  15. I heard that the Tara character does 30-20-10 for her chest and arms….basically 30 pushups, then 30 chairdips, then slight 1-minute rest then 20 push ups the 20 chair dips…etc…til the 10 remaining And her arms are amazing…jsut saying if you get bored with the True Blood workout and want Tara arms..:)

  16. LOL awesome idea!! i should make one up for game of thrones, too bad its ending next week :-(

    • This would be my rule for Game of Thrones: Every time I don’t understand what’s going on, do a burpee. I’d be dripping sweat in no time haha

Share Your Thoughts: