Dexter Workout

The new season of Dexter premiers this Sunday, and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than by making a drinking workout game in its honor. (You may recall I did the same thing for True Blood because—if you haven’t noticed by now—I am a huge nerd.)

I like Dexter because I’ve always thought I would make a phenomenal criminal. I wouldn’t take the serial killer route of course, but I sincerely would LOVE to pull off an Oceans-11 type of heist. Just for fun. I’d give the money back after the joy of scheming was over. Well, maybe I’d buy my pathetically bare apartment a couch first and then return the rest of the money.

  • Dexter kills someone = 10 competition burpees. This is a traditional burpee, only you lower yourself all the way down to the ground so that you’re laying on your stomach, and then you’ll power up into the squat position (much the way a surfer springs up from stomach to feet). So the full move is: Squat down with hands on ground; jump back into a plank position, smoothly lowering yourself onto your stomach; spring from stomach to feet, powering back up into the squat position; jump up, reaching arms towards ceiling.
  • Deb drops the F bomb = 20 high knees. Like running in place, only bring your knees up to about belly-button height.
  • Harry makes an appearance = 20 alternating twist lunges. Step forward into a lunge position, arms outstretched. Twist to one side. Twist back to front, step back up, and repeat on the other side.
  • Vince Masuka says something perverted = 10 jumping-jack push-ups. As you lower your body, jump your legs out wide (keeping body in straight plank position), and as you push your body back up, jump legs back together.
  • Dexter mentions his Dark Passenger = 20 pulse squats. Stay in a squat position and pulse up and down. Your range of motion should be no more than six inches.
  • Angel or Laguerta speak in Spanish = 10 full-body side crunches on each side. Start by laying on your side with bottom arm outstretched for balance/support and top arm bent behind your head. Legs should be lifted together, hovering over the ground. Crunch your torso up, bending your knees and bringing them in to meet your elbow. Lower back down, stretching legs out (but keeping them lifted off the ground).
  • The blood slides come out = 10 superman planks. Start in a plank position. Slowly lift one leg and the opposite arm. Repeat with opposite leg/arm.

Sorry in advance for making you do 10,000 high knees. We all know Debra has the mouth of a truck driver.

Enjoy the premiere Sunday night!

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  1. Can we do this on Sunday except replace exercise with drinking?

    • YES. We just need to make sure we’re not in the sorry, pathetic condition we were in during the premiere.

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